First of all, let me hit you with the terror.
That’s quite bad, isn’t it?
It’s a little different to when we thought Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction, mainly because (a) He said he didn’t and (b) He didn’t. North Korea say they do and apparently they do.
So why haven’t America launched a pre-emptive strike? Cynics might suggest that what the world needs right now is a good old-fashioned arms race where we can buy and sell lots of weapons in order to re-inflate our crumbling economies. Certainly Dave at Number 10 is in no hurry to cut back (even though there is no suggestion that North Korea could get anywhere near us).
Cleverly he even manages to link it to the current benefits crisis “Our current nuclear weapons capability costs on average around 5%-6% of the current defence budget,” he said. “That is less than 1.5% of our annual benefits bill. And the successor submarines are, on average, expected to cost the same once they have entered service. It is a price which I, and all my predecessors since Clement Attlee, have felt is worth paying to keep this country safe.”
But there’s little point in trying to start an arms race if you’ve already nuked the only nation likely to pose a genuine threat. So they won’t. They’ll keep posturing, but all the time they and their fellow shareholders will be making lots of delicious money.
But who is really behind all of this? As we know from documentaries like Team America World Police and Apollo 13, an industrialised North Korea and rocket-powered flight are fictional things. Take North Korea for instance. Up until January 12th 2013 this is how it appeared on Google Maps.
That’s right, pretty desolate. Certainly not an economic or nuclear threat.
Then, on the 13th January 2013, this happens.
Suspicious? I know I am. So what, they just created a country overnight and expect us to fall for that? Well I refuse to. As someone who considers himself fairly bright and internet savvy, I thought I’d probe a little deeper. I thought I’d try and work out exactly who was behind all of this. My findings will shock you.
I knew that there was definitely no chance that North Korea existed. I knew that to create such an illusion needed a combination of incredible wealth and corruption. Therefore I knew I had to look carefully at any recent communications made with the world’s most powerful country, Switzerland.
I found this.
Pretty damning, I think you’ll agree?
But that wasn’t all. Having found my target I looked deeper.
But who is this RedEaredRabbit? Why is he doing this? What’s in it for him to start all this warmongering and in turn, dissatisfaction amongst the common working man about the way his country and indeed his world, is run? Well I’ll show you.
Careful analysis of the graph shows that as soon as the threat of war was made his follower count suddenly leapt. And that, dear reader, is what this is about. More followers for one man who writes an occasional blog about economics. Every time there is some sort of economic crisis he magically conjures up a blog about it. He is happy to let the world risk destroying itself to get a few more readers for his dangerously left-wing rants. More weak minds for him to manipulate with his clever use of “facts”. Now, you may accuse me of opening Pandora’s Box and I suppose you may wonder if I can prove any of this. The reality is that I can’t. Indeed if anything, the way this monster has infiltrated Twitter and society means that any further attempts to research the topic would inevitably lead you on some wild goose chase concluding that this was all the ramblings of a slightly bored man with too much time on his hands.
Perhaps it’s meant to be that way.